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How To (Basically) Fix Your Life

But our lives aren’t broken right? Correct. 

But do you feel good

Do you feel optimally good

YOU do not need repair, in the sense that you are intrinsically bad, or wrong, or flawed. It is my core belief that we are good, with the capacity for wholeness, and health within us. We are a container, housing our greatest life. An acorn contains the blueprint for the entire oak tree. We have everything we need within us, to become who we’ve always been. Though if our outside world – our reflection of reality – is not calibrated to the inner compass of “what we wish it were” – then there is call for some repair in the internal process. The “how” process. How we are forming our lives to be the way they currently are. (largely without a calibrated focus, without intent, and unconsciously – or, without awareness) Because your experience of what your life is right now has been created from you, so too can what you desire also be created from you. We all have hang-ups that are not us, but are of us. Negative self talk, unwanted but consistent damaging behaviors, false stories playing out, etc. This is not Who We Are – that does not need fixing. What could use fixing… repair, reconnection, adjustment… are the processes by which we make our life experience what it is. And what it’s not. 

I say the “experience” of what your life is (first heard by the awesome Dr. Steve Ravnstag’s reference to life as  “your experience of what it’s like to be you”) because that is within our control. For most people, what they would constitute as their “life,” is seemingly out of their control. How their kids act, what their family says, how their partner does x, y, z. You don’t create their behaviors (although you may or may not be involved in the pattern that helps give rise to them) but you do create your experience of your life. Whether you currently define your life as mostly other people, or your job, or your trauma, etc. You have the capacity to create an experience of it. You already are. You also have the capacity to create the experience of it that moves you closer to your desire or, “who you want to be” and further from the pain cycle you may be existing from, playing out, stuck within, right now. 

Here’s a basic formula to try on for size:

Decide who and what you want to be

Make a plan to get there

Execute

Discover Blocks

Because the thing is, you can’t really know which exits on your route are blocked off until you get in the car and start driving. So, said another way: 

Where do you want to go? (that’s your destination, “what you want”) 

How are you going to get there? (Print map/ enter into GPS – your “plan”) 

Start driving. (“do it”) 

Encounter traffic/ closed roads/ etc. (these are your “blocks”)

Reroute 

Alllllll the reasons you’re not doing it – all the places you keep getting stuck… those are your blocks. Your patterns. Your cycles that you’ll keep hitting and cycling through until you become aware of them. The radical art of “Going For It” is the surest way to bring awareness to your blocks because that’s where they will come up the fastest. And when they do? You

Rework them &

Persist, Consistently 

So just start. Not so you can “reach your dreams!” (because maybe that’s too intimidating) but so you can see your block, see your patterns. So you can see what is standing in the way. So you have have grace for yourself, and the processes you’ve been engaging that have created your life – all mostly born out of the desire to protect yourself and keep safe. 

Listen – You can write the story for your life anew everyday, but if you’re like (literally) anybody else, chances are you already have a script running inside.  And you can’t REwrite your story until you know what it is. You know what it is by moving forward in what you want and seeing where you stop. 

That’s the story you’ve been illustrating up until now. You see how the pictures on page 4 make you want to shut that book? See how you usually do? Maybe let’s try something new this time. You don’t have to rip put the page, but you can add something to it. YOUR consciousness. Your curiosity. This book is not you. It’s your story. That means you can observe it, you can play with your ideas for a new script, you can (by seeing) remove the part of you that’s been immersed in the tale (unconscious) and create some space between it and you. All because you simply started to read. Because you drove the car. Because you did it. 

Summed up once more (because the same thing said 17 different ways is apparently my motive in this post):

What do you want? (vs. why are you depressed/ broke/ unmotivated?) 

Why don’t you have it? (vs. how can you be not depressed/ broke/ unmotivated?) 

The latter, being the parentheses, doesn’t move you forward. It keeps you in the cycle. When you step out of the cycle (if even for the length of a conversation just to gain a little clarity) you gain perspective. You gain contrast. You see things differently. And the thing is – why you’re depressed matters. But I have this idea that it’s going to be worked out by your moving forward, by your changing focus, by your being pulled by your vision – with more ease than if you were to sit in the “safety” of your sadness. You solve your problems not by the same level of consciousness that created them, by by a level that gives you perspective to it. (Thanks for that one Einstein)

Perspective. Awareness. Observing. It brings understanding, and understanding helps you move forward with greater ease and greater clarity. Inching, propelling, moving… you toward the life you want. 

To trusting ourselves in the process, 

Jessi 

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